Last Acts of Love

Vista Death Cafe
2025-12-10 13:00 - 14:00 (America/Los_Angeles) | Vista Senior Center, 1400 Vale Terrace, Vista, CA, 92084, United States
Join us for the final Vista Death Cafe of 2025 on Wednesday, December 10th, at the Vista Senior Center in Vista, California.
The Vista Death Cafe meets in person at 1 PM on the second Wednesday of every month. The Vista Death Cafe started in August 2025. Despite having to coordinate schedules with the very active Vista senior community, Mel McClave eventually found a time and space to accommodate all.
What is a Death Cafe?
Do you have an interest in the subject of dying and death? Are you looking for a safe space to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say? At this Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided they follow a few rules that keep the discussions safe and accessible. You are certainly welcome to join us for quality conversations around dying and death.
The purpose of this Death Cafe is “ to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their finite lives.” We use this time to discuss dying and death with no expectations, agendas, themes, or promotions.
Death Cafes are a worldwide phenomenon. Jon Underwood launched and hosted Death Cafes in London from 2011 until his death from cancer in 2017. He modeled them after Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz’s “Café Mortale.” In 2012, Lizzy Miles hosted the first Death Cafe in the US in Columbus, Ohio.
Death Cafes and DeathCafe.com are hosted by volunteers and are always FREE to attend. The guidelines that govern Death Cafes are the vision of Jon Underwood to keep the conversation welcoming and free from personal debate. Attending Death Cafes brings you into a space that allows for an exchange of ideas without the pressure of conforming. Some Death Cafes ask for donations. Consequently, if you feel the need to donate, please donate directly to this Death Cafe or directly to DeathCafe.com.
Learn more about the Death Cafes hosted by Mel, here.
Vista Death Cafe

OC Virtual Death Cafe
2025-12-02 16:30 - 18:00 | Orange County Virtual Death Cafe, United States
The O.C. Virtual Death Cafe is the place to be to immerse yourself in a lively discussion around dying and death. Anyone who is curious about dying and death is welcome.
Are you looking for a safe place to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say? At our long-running O.C. Virtual Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided the guidelines that keep the discussions safe and accessible are respected. Please RSVP to: melissa@lastactsoflove.com for the Zoom link or more information.
The History of the OC Virtual Death Cafe
Southern California resident and end-of-life doula Linda Barnard co-hosted the first Orange County Death Cafe in October 2021 with veteran San Diego Death Cafe host, Dr. Mitsuo “Mits” Tomita. What started as a mid-COVID monthly meetup has continued to flourish as a virtual monthly discussion. Linda continued to host the Orange County Death Cafe after Mits was unavailable to co-host monthly. Linda decided to step down as host in September 2024.
In October 2024, Linda asked San Diego Virtual Death Cafe host Melissa ‘Mel’ McClave to take over hosting duties of the Orange County Death Cafe. Mel made the Orange County Death Cafe a permanent virtual meeting and changed the name to OC Virtual Death Cafe.
Deathwork in Orange County California
For over 100 years, the residents of Orange County, California have thoughtfully cared for their dead. Orange County is home to about one million residents, all of whom will die. The ethnic diversity of the county requires a thoughtful approach to cultural rituals and modern legacy options.
Leisure World in Seal Beach and Laguna Hills are Orange County’s premiere retirement communties. Residents of Lesiure World buy into their community knowing that it will be their home at the end of life. Residents are serviced nearby mortuaries and cemeteries.
In May 2024, Barbara McMurray founded the Orange County Deathworkers Alliance to bring together traditional and new-age practicioners of end-of-life care providers. The alliance currently includes caregiver services, end-of-life doulas, physicians, memorial artists, and authors who write extensively on end of life topics.

Orange County CA, USA OC Virtual Death Cafe The first Tuesday of the month 4:30-6 PM (PT) rsvp melissa@lastactsoflove.com

San Diego Virtual Death Cafe
2025-11-26 18:30 - 20:00 | San Diego Virtual Death Cafe, CA, 92024, United States
The San Diego Virtual Death Cafe is a safe place to share your interest in the subject of dying and death. Are you looking for a safe place to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say? At this Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided they follow a few rules that keep the discussions safe and accessible.
The History of Death Cafes
Death Cafes are an international phenomenon. Jon Underwood founded Death Cafes in 2011 in London, England. Jon’s vision was to create a space where people could talk about death over tea and cake. The cafes welcome all perspectives. Jon knew that creating a space where people knew there was no agenda, no speakers, nor promotions created an environment that nurtured organic conversation.
After Jon died from cancer in 2017, his family and friends continued Death Cafe as a tribute to his life’s work. To this day, Death Cafes remain free to attend and free from pre-planned discussion. All Death Cafe hosts agree to host as volunteers and to follow the guidelines set by Jon.
The History of The San Diego Virtual Death Cafe
In March 2020, the state of California declared a state of emergency due to a novel human coronavirus that was highly infectious and deadly to vulnerable populations. People were required to avoid congregating in person. Schools, churches, libraries, and cafes were closed.
I received an email from Death Cafe hosts, Mits Tomita and Frank Stefano, asking if I wanted to be part of an online Death Cafe. I accepted the invitation, and we hosted our first San Diego Virtual Death Cafe in April of 2020. At first, it was difficult to navigate the technology required to host successfully. We had many hiccups and a “Zoom Bomb” or two that helped us learn how to be better hosts.
Eventually, Mits’ schedule could no longer accommodate the time and day that worked for our attendees. Frank and I continued to co-host on the fourth Wednesday of every month. In the end, Frank decided to hand me the reins, and I continue hosting to this day.

Meeting of Mortals
2025-11-14 18:00 - 19:30 | Hospice By The Sea, 777 So HWY 101, Solana Beach, CA, 92075, United States
Do you have an interest in talking mortality with other mortals? Are you curious to explore the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of mortality? Join me, Melissa McClave, a Death Doula with “Last Acts of Love,” for my new discussion group, “Meeting of Mortals.” This group-led conversation is open to discussing everything about dying and death, from choosing who will speak with you when you can’t speak for yourself to how you want to be memorialized for future generations.
What is a “Meeting of Mortals?”
The name, “Meeting of Mortals,” is based on the word “mortal,” which is a noun that is defined as a human being. Following the etymology of “mortal” takes me to the Latin root “Mort”, which means “death.” And finally, the word that best describes this discussion, “mortality,” is defined as “the quality or state of being mortal.”
Many can’t attend my weekday events, so I secured a venue for an evening discussion group. We’ll explore dying and death. Attendees can ask questions, share views, and listen. This “Meeting of Mortals” normalizes mortality talk. It’s free, in Solana Beach, CA, near BellyUp and The Sound, every second Friday, 6-7:30 PM. Join us!
This is a time and place to normalize the subject of mortality and start the weekend off with a better understanding of our limited time to connect with ourselves and each other. Afterwards, we recommend you try one of the nearby restaurants for a meal and the opportunity to continue the conversation.
I’m hosting this FREE “Meeting of Mortals” on the second Friday evening of each month from 6-7:30 PM in Solana Beach, CA. The topics covered will depend on the mortals attending. All people and topics are welcome with the understanding that everyone present respects the perspective of others. To RSVP, contact me here to reserve your seat.
Meeting of Mortals Solana Beach, CA

Vista Death Cafe
2025-11-12 13:00 - 14:00 | Vista Senior Center, 1400 Vale Terrace, Vista, CA, 92084, United States
The Vista Death Cafe meets in person at 1 PM on the second Wednesday of every month. The Vista Death Cafe started in August 2025. Despite having to coordinate schedules with the very active Vista senior community, Mel McClave eventually found a time and space to accommodate all.
Do you have an interest in the subject of dying and death? Are you looking for a safe space to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say? At this Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided they follow a few rules that keep the discussions safe and accessible. You are certainly welcome to join us for quality conversations around dying and death.
The purpose of this Death Cafe is “ to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their finite lives.” We use this time to discuss dying and death with no expectations, agendas, themes, or promotions.
Death Cafes are a worldwide phenomenon. Jon Underwood launched and hosted Death Cafes in London from 2011 until his death from cancer in 2017. He modeled them after Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz’s “Café Mortale.” In 2012, Lizzy Miles hosted the first Death Cafe in the US in Columbus, Ohio.
Volunteers host Death Cafes and DeathCafe.com, and they are always FREE to attend. The guidelines that govern Death Cafes are the vision of Jon Underwood to keep the conversation welcoming and free from personal debate. Attending Death Cafes allows you to enter a space created for exchanging ideas without the pressure of conforming. Some Death Cafes ask for donations. Consequently, if you feel the need to donate, please donate directly to this Death Cafe or directly to DeathCafe.com.
Learn more about Mel’s five years of experience as a Death Cafe host and the Death Cafes she hosts, here.

Virtual Terminal Talk
2025-11-12 10:30 - 12:00 | Virtual Terminal Talk, CA, 92024, United States
Do you have a life-limiting diagnosis? Our Virtual Terminal Talk is a group-led discussion inviting people living with a life-limiting diagnosis to join others as they explore the realities of dying and death. This supportive space encourages participants to share thoughts on the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of dying. While grief may naturally emerge, Terminal Talk does not serve as a grief support group or cater to caregivers, loved ones, or the general public.
All diagnoses are welcome! Whether you’re living with ALS, cancer, heart failure, or something else, we want you to join our group. We are a friendly place and understand the loneliness that comes with trying to make sense of our fate.
The History of Terminal Talk
Terminal Talk’s host, Mel McClave, was invited by Roseana Spangler-Sims to host “Terminal Talk: An Open Discussion on Dying for a Select Few.” Roseana yearned for a place where people living with an incurable diagnosis could come together to talk about their experience. In May 2025, Mel hosted the first “Terminal Talk” in person at the Vista Senior Center.
Although people wanted a virtual option, Terminal Talk remained in-person until Roseana’s death in August 2025. Consequently, Mel pivoted the in-person meeting into a virtual meeting on the same date and time. Mel learned how to host a group like Terminal Talk through her volunteer work as a Death Cafe host.
The Future
Seven people joined the first meeting of the Virtual Terminal Talk. Considering the nature of this discussion group, it’s important to invite all who qualify to participate. The bond we form transcends the limits of geography and time. We are blessed to spend 90 minutes a month together. We need your support as the founding members of the group succumb to their fate and are present in spirit.

O.C. Virtual Death Cafe
2025-11-04 16:30 - 18:00 | Orange County Virtual Death Cafe, United States
Orange County, CA, USA OC Virtual Death Cafe The first Tuesday of the month 4:30-6 PM (PT) rsvp melissa@lastactsoflove.com

The O.C. Virtual Death Cafe is the place to be to immerse yourself in a lively discussion around dying and death. Anyone who is curious about dying and death is welcome. Are you looking for a safe place to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say? At this O.C. Virtual Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided the guidelines that keep the discussions safe and accessible are respected.
End-of-life doula Linda Barnard hosted the first OC Virtual Death Cafe in October 2023. Melissa ‘Mel’ McClave took over hosting the Death Cafe a year later, in October 2024, and has hosted it every month since.
Orange County, California, is located between Los Angeles and San Diego Counties. The coastal neighborhoods include Newport Beach, San Clemente, and Huntington Beach. The city of Anaheim is located in Orange County. Anaheim is the home of Disneyland and the NHL team, the Anaheim Ducks.
Orange County has a dedicated cemetery district that maintains four cemeteries within the county. The cemetery district helps county residents and taxpayers find a final resting place for their loved ones. Some of the cemeteries in the district have over 500 veterans buried on their grounds.
Because Orange County is so close to North County San Diego, O.C. Virtual Death Cafe Host Melissa McClave has the opportunity to serve clients there, too.

Solana Beach Death Cafe
2025-10-22 13:00 - 14:30 | Solana Beach, CA, CA, 92075, United States
Join us for the last Solana Beach Death Cafe for 2025 on Wednesday, October 22 from 1-2:30 PM. We serve a light lunch along with deep conversations regarding dying and death.
More About the Solana Beach Death Cafe
The Solana Beach Beach Death Cafe is formerly known as the “North County Coastal San Diego (NCCSD).” This Death Cafe just celebrated it’s second anniversary in August.
With the exception of November and December, you will find us on the fourth Wednesday of the month enjoying an assortment of complimentary sandwiches and beverages. We also provide a fresh fruit and vegetable tray, and a rotating dessert choice.
The private clubhouse that sponsors the Solana Beach Death Cafe boasts an ocean view and a variety of small-group seating options. There is plenty of free parking, too.
Do you have an interest in the subject of dying and death? Are you looking for a safe place to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say?
At this Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided they follow a few rules that keep the discussions safe and accessible. You are certainly welcome to join us for quality conversations around dying and death.
What is a Death Cafe?
The purpose of this Death Cafe is “ to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their finite lives.” We use this time to discuss dying and death with no expectations, agendas, themes, or promotions.
Death Cafes are a worldwide phenomenon. Jon Underwood launched and hosted Death Cafes in London from 2011 until his death from cancer in 2017. He modeled them after Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz’s “Café Mortale.” In 2012, Lizzy Miles hosted the first Death Cafe in the US in Columbus, Ohio.
Death Cafes and DeathCafe.com are hosted by volunteers and are always FREE to attend. The guidelines that govern Death Cafes are the vision of Jon Underwood to keep the conversation welcoming and free from personal debate. Attending Death Cafes brings you into a space that allows for an exchange of ideas without the pressure of conforming.
Some Death Cafes ask for donations. Consequently, if you feel the need to donate, please donate directly to this Death Cafe, or directly to DeathCafe.com.
Learn more about the Death Cafes hosted by Mel, here.

Meeting of Mortals
2025-10-10 18:00 - 19:30 | Solana Beach, CA, CA, 92075, United States
Meeting of Mortals Solana Beach, CA
Do you have an interest in meeting other mortals? Are you curious to explore what it means to be mortal? Join me, Melissa McClave, with “Last Acts of Love” for my new discussion group “Meeting of Mortals,” a group-led conversation that’s open to the physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental aspects of dying and death.
What is a “Meeting of Mortals?”
My new group is named “Meeting of Mortals” because the word “mortal” is a noun that is defined as a human being. Following the etymology of “mortal” takes me to the Latin root “Mort”, which means “death.” And finally, the word that best describes this discussion, “mortality,” is defined as “the quality or state of being mortal.”
Many can’t attend my weekday events, so I secured a venue for an evening discussion group. We’ll explore dying and death. Attendees can ask questions, share views, and listen. This “Meeting of Mortals” normalizes mortality talk. It’s free, in Solana Beach, CA, near BellyUp and The Sound, every second Friday, 6-7:30 PM. Join us!
This is a time and place to normalize the subject of mortality and start the weekend off with a better understanding of our limited time to connect with ourselves and each other. Afterwards, we recommend you try one of the nearby restaurants for a meal and the opportunity to continue the conversation.
I’m hosting this FREE “Meeting of Mortals” on the second Friday evening of each month from 6-7:30 PM in Solana Beach, CA. The topics covered will depend on the mortals attending. All people and topics are welcome with the understanding that everyone present respects the perspective of others. To RSVP, contact me here to reserve your seat.

Compassionate End-of-Life Conversations
2025-10-10 10:30 - 12:00 | Vista Senior Center, 1400 Vale Terrace, Vista, CA, 92084, United States
Learn how to have “Compassionate Conversations” about end-of-life issues in this discussion group. Death Doulas Mel McClave and Eva Navarrete come together to help you navigate the topic with your loved ones. Between us, we have decades of experience in teaching people how to broach the topic of mortality.
Eva and I started doing these dual language workshops for the 2024 World Design Capital‘s “Imagining a Better Death” initiative. Our “Compassionate Conversations” end-of-life workshops were so successful that we decided to incorporate them into our public outreach. We now hold regularly scheduled “Compassionate Conversation” end-of-life discussions at the Vista Senior Center and other international and domestic venues.
Using a variety of resources, we discuss your end-of-life options to help you make the best choice for yourself and your family. Our sponsors include Compassion & Choices, the San Diego Coalition for Compassionate Care, and the Vista Senior Center.

Learn what your choices are at the end of life and how to share them with your loved ones.

Vista Death Cafe
2025-10-08 13:00 - 14:00 | Vista Senior Center, 1400 Vale Terrace, Vista, CA, 92084, United States
The Vista Death Cafe meets in person at 1 PM on the second Wednesday of every month. The Vista Death Cafe started in August 2025. Despite having to coordinate schedules with the very active Vista senior community, Mel McClave eventually found a time and space to accommodate all.
Do you have an interest in the subject of dying and death? Are you looking for a safe space to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say? At this Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided they follow a few rules that keep the discussions safe and accessible. You are certainly welcome to join us for quality conversations around dying and death.
The purpose of this Death Cafe is “ to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their finite lives.” We use this time to discuss dying and death with no expectations, agendas, themes, or promotions.
Death Cafes are a worldwide phenomenon. Jon Underwood launched and hosted Death Cafes in London from 2011 until his death from cancer in 2017. He modeled them after Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz’s “Café Mortale.” In 2012, Lizzy Miles hosted the first Death Cafe in the US in Columbus, Ohio.
Death Cafes and DeathCafe.com are hosted by volunteers and are always FREE to attend. The guidelines that govern Death Cafes are the vision of Jon Underwood to keep the conversation welcoming and free from personal debate. Attending Death Cafes brings you into a space that allows for an exchange of ideas without the pressure of conforming. Some Death Cafes ask for donations. Consequently, if you feel the need to donate, please donate directly to this Death Cafe or directly to DeathCafe.com.
Learn more about the Death Cafes hosted by Mel, here.

Terminal Talk is Virtual Now!
2025-10-08 10:30 - 12:00
Are you living with a terminal illness? “Terminal Talk” is now a virtual resource for those facing their mortality to openly explore the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of dying. This supportive space is exclusively for individuals with a life-limiting diagnosis, not for caregivers, loved ones, or the general public. We meet virtually on the second Wednesday of the month at 10:30 AM Pacific Time.
Do you have a life-limiting diagnosis? Terminal Talk, a group-led discussion, invites individuals to explore the realities of dying and death. This supportive space encourages participants to share thoughts on the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of dying. While grief may naturally emerge, Terminal Talk does not serve as a grief support group or cater to caregivers, loved ones, or the general public.
Mel McClave and Roseana Spangler-Sims launched “Terminal Talk: An Open Discussion on Dying for a Select Few” when Roseana invited Mel to host an in-person meeting for people living with an incurable diagnosis. In May 2025, Mel hosted the first “Terminal Talk” in person at the Vista Senior Center.
Although people wanted a virtual option, this group stayed in-person until Roseana’s death in August 2025. Consequently, I’ve discontinued the in-person meeting in lieu of a virtual meeting on the same date and time. Before I added Terminal Talk to my monthly educational outreach, I learned how to facilitate both virtual and in-person discussions by being a Death Cafe host.

OC Virtual Death Cafe
2025-10-07 16:30 - 18:00 | Orange County Virtual Death Cafe, United States
The OC Virtual Death Cafe is celebrating two years of monthly meetings in October 2025! This Death Cafe was started by the dedicated, end-of-life doula, Linda Barnard. Eventually, Mel McClave accepted the invitation to take over hosting in October 2023 and presently hosts it on the first Tuesday of the month.
Do you have an interest in the subject of dying and death? Are you looking for a safe place to share your thoughts, ask questions, and hear what others say? At this Death Cafe, we welcome all opinions and topics, provided they follow a few rules that keep the discussions safe and accessible. You are certainly welcome to join us for quality conversations around dying and death.
The purpose of this Death Cafe is “ to increase awareness of death to help people make the most of their finite lives.” We use this time to discuss dying and death with no expectations, agendas, themes, or promotions.
Death Cafes are a worldwide phenomenon. Jon Underwood launched and hosted Death Cafes in London from 2011 until his death from cancer in 2017. He modeled them after Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz’s “Café Mortale.” In 2012, Lizzy Miles hosted the first Death Cafe in the US in Columbus, Ohio.
Death Cafes and DeathCafe.com are hosted by volunteers and are always FREE to attend. The guidelines that govern Death Cafes are the vision of Jon Underwood to keep the conversation welcoming and free from personal debate. Attending Death Cafes brings you into a space that allows for an exchange of ideas without the pressure of conforming. Some Death Cafes ask for donations. Consequently, if you feel the need to donate, please donate directly to this Death Cafe, or directly to DeathCafe.com.
Learn more about the Death Cafes hosted by Mel, here

Terminal Talk
2025-09-10 10:30 - 11:30

Orange County Virtual Death Cafe
2025-09-02 16:30 - 18:00
